I cried yesterday when I went outside. THE SKY WAS BLUE! That deep ultramarine blue that makes you want to dive into it like it is an ocean. Oh. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen so much beautiful blue sky. Not a cloud or a particle (okay that is a lie) of pollution... I am sure there was at least some... but I COULDN'T SEE IT! Oh.
Blue skies make me want to go home. Everytime one hits us, I want to call Ashley and go have a picnic in the park or go swimming with our kids. But here, it means another day. We do things as we do and try our best to find a way to spend as much time as possible (or as we can stand) outside.
Outside is stressful in China. Everyone wants to touch my kids, and coo at them. The other children are not always nice to Mitch. They are very different from him and often the ones we are around are older. He often comes away from being with "friends" more upset... or I do.
Blending in, being in the background, unnoticed never exists here. Our home is our piece of heaven. It is our peaceful place. We are not something to be gawked at, laughed at, photographed, or even just talked to constantly by really nice, well-meaning people.
When we leave China and live in America again, I hope I never take for granted the blue sky and clean air that are often so abundant and beautiful. I hope I never take for granted the wonderful family and amazing big sister who always plays with us... even if Mitch tries to destroy cute little Crew... every time he sees him. And I hope I can always make my home feel like a little piece of heaven, the way my mother did. A place of refuge from the world.
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